MCMURDO STATION, ANTARCTICAÂ – Capt. James Cook of the McMurdo Station in Antarctica is, “excited to announce groundbreaking of the 2016 Summer Olympic Aquatic Venue at the new Shackleton Aquatic Center at McMurdo Station,” in face of setbacks, among other problems, in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.
Earlier this week, the International Olympic Committee (IOC), Brazil, and other pertinent bodies held an emergency session in New York to discuss the ongoing venue setbacks, the Zika virus, water conditions, and political tension in Brazil. An undisclosed source reported that “discussion focused mostly on where to move the venue, rather than fixing any existing problems.” Jim Clark Ross, a second year Portuguese student at State University of New York who stood in as an impromptu translator after the slated translator became ill and was unable to attend, stated, “The meeting was very tense and the Brazilians were furious. The Brazilian spokespeople tried to assure everyone that all necessary measures were being made to go ahead as planned and being done in accordance to IOC plans.”
Despite this assurance, the meeting kept its focus on changing the venue, which prompted the Brazilian contingency to storm out of the meeting after a heated exchange. When asked by the spokesperson from the IOC what they said, Jim Ross stated, “The best I can translate it as is that they want you to stick it where the sun don’t shine.”
Though it has not been officially announced by the IOC, unnamed sources have corroborated that those at the meeting took Brazil’s requests into consideration along with their own concerns, and it was decided that Antarctica best met the conditions set forth by all concerned parties.
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